Hello hunnies! If this is your first time reading a Shakespeare’s Hunnies blog welcome Hunny and come again. Returners love to see you back ready to read with us again. Today’s blog post is a unique exploration that I wanted to involve the community. Pride month may have passed but the conversations on transphobia, biphobia, queer IBPOC representation, and queer joy and excellence is something I want to discuss and breakdown in our community in Alberta. Queer’s anonymous is a survey I shared with folks in the LGBTQIA2S+  which is an acronym that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and Two-Spirit. I kept the folks anonymous so they can share comfortably about their experiences without having to edit themselves for readers. As an ally this is a space for curiosity and transparency to the capacity anyone wants so thank you readers, and so much love to the Queer Anonymouses for sharing your insight. Your brilliance radiates in these answers and it makes me so happy to know there are folks like you all in our community.

Exploring my sexuality was hella hard, I was in a place with an almost non-existent community and it caused me to learn many survival behaviours that I’m still unlearning.

queer anonymous

~ I really discovered that I was queer by supporting my friends who were queer. I would attend pride dances and stuff and while I was there they encouraged me to explore my own sexuality. 

~  It was very weird, especially growing up as a POC and in a Christian household. Fandom and podcasts (WTNV where there was an actual happy queer couple that wasn't a stereotype???? shocking, mindblowing) were the main places where I could 'see' queer people. I was terrified to try and search anything up about being queer, even though I have been out to (some of) my family and friends for a very long time. Exploring being queer happened mostly in online places for me.

~ I think for me, I faced a lot of biphobia growing up, including from my partners. Because of this I struggled a lot to really accept myself, that I was actually bisexual. Because of this I didn't really have a huge opportunity to explore until I graduated high school.

Being happy about how far we’ve come, accepting that we’ve existed since the beginning of humanity, and acknowledging that there’s still a lot to fight for before we’re truly equal.

queer anonymous

~ It means getting bombarded by the capitalist idea that putting rainbow on everything means you're supporting the gays. Hehe and also ofc creating safe spaces.

~ Pride means celebrating our differences and it means being together in community to prove that we deserve a place on the table!

~ When thinking about Pride I am reminded of who helped build it. The trans community, the Black community, so I think a lot about how Pride is inherently intersectional. I think Pride is really about celebrating who you are, the achievements of the Pride community, and recognizing the fight isn't over. I love Pride month, the parades, the marches- for me, my first Pride was the first time I really felt like I found a community that I belonged in.

That I have a preference just because people have seen me in one type of relationship.

queer anonymous

~ There are a lot surrounding Bisexuality. Firstly, it doesn't mean only attracted to men or women, it does include the trans and nonbinary community. I think of it as being attracted to my own gender and all other genders. Secondly, just because we are bi doesn't mean we want to have a threesome (though some of us may). No we don't want to spice up your marriage- unicorn hunting is generally pretty unethical. We are not more likely to cheat on you because we have "more options". If we enter a relationship with a man or a woman no we weren't gay/straight all along. Biphobia is painful and it exists in both the queer community and the straight community.

~ More likely to cheat is the main one I can think of, that it's 'transphobic' which ????~

~ Because I haven't had a lot of queer sexual experience, I'm less queer. Or that once I've come out as one thing then I am forever that thing. Or that because I do not identify as a woman that I think there's something shameful about being one. Just because I don't identify as a woman doesn't mean I don't identify with women.

DRAG

QUEER anonymous

~ I'm currently watching Dan Howell's pride thing on youtube and seeing someone who I watched growing up be comfortable with his sexuality after so long is awesome. Also, my new copy of Homer's work

~ Seeing my family

~ When I was younger, my mom asked me if I had ever been attracted to women, I said "yes, I consider myself bisexual". At the time she told me she was okay with it, but that she knew I would end up with a man. I talked to her last week on the phone and she apologized for invalidating me, and that she would be happy if I ended up with a man or a woman or any other gender, as long as I was happy.

Honestly, I try not to think about it too much. I try to keep reminding myself that I don’t need to prove my queerness to anyone. I know I’m queer and that’s enough.

queer anonymous

~ It's really about not feeling like there's a space I really fit into. I can't always be myself around straight people, but I don't necessarily feel confident enough in my queerness to be a part of that community. 

~ It causes me to second guess aspects of my sexuality and expression.

~ I actually have talked to my therapist about this, they let me know that it was a really common feeling, especially for queer people who have OCD to continuously wonder about their sexuality. I think for me learning that it was a common feeling really helped me get over it. Hard things are always easier when you aren't going through them alone. I'm learning who I am, and which labels I like. And I'm accepting the fact that if in 2 or 5 or 10 years I want to change my label or get rid of it all together, that's okay.

~ Don't be scared to try things out! If you want to experiment with your gender or sexuality just do it. Even if you find out you're exactly what you thought you were then you'll know yourself deeper.

~ You don't have to come out if you don't want to. Life gets a lot better when you get older and have a support network. ANd don't feel pressure to pick a label!

~ Find your peeps, no matter how alone you feel they are out there and they will be your greatest weapon.

Make queer friends, join queer groups, if it’s safe for you- go to pride. Find your support network, your people. Know that you are so loved, and valued within this community.

queer anonymous

Queer’s Anonymous will be an on-going conversation with folks of all ages. A quote that I appreciated and resonated with me last was from James Baldwin. He said “Love him, and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?”. Love well and love big. See you again Hunnies!