This is it. This is the one. That’s love.

We’re always worried about “feeling.” That yielding to your emotions is harmful, or being uncomfortable is wrong to embrace. I find myself in a dark room of my thoughts, constantly judging and criticizing my capacity to feel and feel boldly and greatly. I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE. I am an emotional creature through and through, and that is my strength, not weakness. It takes love to finally see yourself as whole and whole for you not based on the words said by someone or the validation from others. I am my best friend, and I could not have had a better friend than me. Being my best friend means not being the biggest critic to myself and my biggest supporter instead.

Here’s how I break it down. Follow with me in my circular way of thinking as I use Brene Brown’s and Kabat-Zinn’s teachings on guilt and shame and vulnerability to explain how we all can be kinder to ourselves.

Brene Brown discusses this topic on guilt and shame. Guilt is human and instinctual and is normal, but shame is when we bully ourselves to believe we’re horrible for what we did, say, or act. Guilt reminds you that there’s something to acknowledge and work on or confront, but shame is the feeling we condition ourselves to blame yourself into believing a narrative that is harmful continually.Loving someone is a good thing, and loving yourself is the best thing you could do and having both the feeling of being loved, and loving another is the greatest thing to ever happen to us. So let go of the blame and shame game sis it does not serve you and only holds you back from your potential. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, you have to be strong enough to be weak. That strength or wanting to be perceived as a strong individual and take on the persona that you are invisible or invulnerable is often a weakness and instead is an “attempt to cover up fear.” Therefore, “feeling” or “feelings” are neither good nor bad; they just are. Trust in your most profound strength of all: intuition, self-love, and being present and having the capacity to feel greatly and boldly.

Try this today: Jon Kabat Zinn’s teachings.

“Recognize how you meet obstacles with harshness. Experiment with being soft when your impulse is to be hard, generous when your impulse is to be withholding, open when your impulse is to close up or shut down emotionally” – Wherever you go there you are by Jon Kabat-Zinn pg. 66 (You Have to Be Strong Enough to Be Weak)

And mine for you, embrace what you are feeling rather than judging it.

Thank you for reading today’s self-care chapter.