“Burnout is nature’s way of telling you, you’ve been going through the motions your soul has departed; you’re a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker.” – Sam Keen

Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man

BURN BABY BURN

Are you feeling like a sleepwalker, a member of the walking dead? Well you may be feeling burnt out. Burnout can leave us feeling exhausted, empty, and unable to cope with the demands that life expects of us. Burnout is a progression to the onset of stress and dissatisfaction with your work, school, or personal life according to verywellmind.com (shout out to them). I usually reach this stage called burnout when I start to neglect my own individual needs to rest and have time to be still, and when I feel like life is moving ahead of me and not the other way around. You know that scary feeling on a treadmill when you accelerate cause you think you can keep up, but then the speed of seven becomes unsustainable, and you begin to panic because you realize you are about to fall and hit your face hard against the conveyor belt with BOOM and then SPLAT. And somehow everyone in the room witnessed it or maybe the only person in the room you care about their opinion saw it. You know that feeling or do I need to give you more scenarios? No. okay.

Well, that is what prolonged stress leading to burnout feels like for me like I am on this treadmill. At first, I felt capable of managing all the responsibilities I took upon myself. Still, after a while, the speed (tasks) becomes how do I say this a nagging sensation and less enjoyable like lackluster ( toy isn’t shiny nor fun)  because it becomes an unmanageable routine without breaks and or space to come back down to my normal speed of three. I like to imagine that I have two paces that I have to navigate this world, one that is expected of me to complete work and be functioning in this society and another where I am comfortable remaining in. However, sometimes you need to follow a pace that is not your normal. I think that is when it becomes an unsustainable pace due it being prolonged (never ending cycle) and you end up not giving yourself room to come back to three.  That is where exhaustion comes in, cynicism or feeling less identification with the work, school, or project and then self-doubt comes along to shame you for the lack of professionalism and ability to keep up. AND BOOM, you crash. 

Okay but what does it feel like to feel good.

Before we dig into what the progression towards burn out looks like. And tools to prevent going into that stage of apathy towards the world and life in general. Let us talk about the HONEYMOON phase when everything tastes like milk and honey on a breezy, sunny day. When you feel like you are on top of the world. You are thriving, Hunny, absolutely living your best life or a pretty satisfying stage in your life. The honeymoon phase comes and goes that is natural, and there is nothing wrong with you if you are not always feeling that way. So what is the honeymoon phase? Well, it sure is the opposite of the burn out stage. When you feel this sense of high satisfaction with yourself and the quality of work you are doing (whatever that means to you), your creativity is juicy. Things feel like a new beginning, so in essence, the first day of school kind of high, or New Year kind of high, or I just got a camera, and I’m going to learn photography kind of high. You are feeling pumped about the new experiences you are about to undertake.

HONEYMOON PHASE 

What does that look like in a list perse:

• Optimistic about opportunities, about future endeavours or ones that you are already involved in.
• Consistent productivity ( you are on top of things)
• Sustained energy
• Satisfaction with school, work, projects, etc.…
• Free-flowing of creativity
• You feel capable!
• Take on more responsibilities because you believe you can do it.

Burn Out Phase

Burnout feels like the following (providing another list cause that is what we are doing today):

• Desire to “drop out” of society (everything)
• Self-doubt creeps in
• Constant shaming oneself
• Desire to run away from family, friends, work
• Feeling empty inside 
• Chronic headaches 
• Isolating oneself so little social interactions
• Obsession over what is going wrong instead what is going right
• Wanting to escape from reality
• Alienation from work or related social activities: You may begin to view your job, school, and projects as increasingly stressful and frustrating and possibly borderline meaningless or joyless.

Coping Mechanism.

what works for me?

It is okay to take a full pregnant pause and be like DAMN this is hard, I feel shitty. For full disclosure, I am not a health care provider so take my advice with a grain of salt but my usual solution for myself when I come close to this feeling or when I’m already there. And trust me, it is not comfortable to ask for help or reach out to folks you trust, but that is when you need it the most. Proactively taking up self-care routines like sleeping enough (recommend 7-8 hours a day), exercising as often and in a healthy progression to your routine, creating healthy boundaries, so being honest with yourself and how much you can undertake. Being honest with your family and friends, being honest with your employer, and with school may be taking up fewer courses during a semester. If you cannot do that because of your program (me), find room within that busy schedule to take breaks and pause.

Not to be afraid to “start over” well, our readers are usually between 20 -24 years old, so honestly, you are too young to be stressed daily, and more than ever, need to enjoy the little things. So let go of what is no longer serving, what is restraining you from reaching your potential or working at your average speed. And remind yourself every day that “no” is a complete sentence, and you do not owe anyone anything, not your time,nor your energy, and that pretending or faking till you make it is not the best default reaction to onset stress. In conclusion, my advice is to take your time when everything is speeding up and remind yourself you are capable and it is healthy to step back and assess what is your priority and hopefully your mental health comes first.

Today’s late-night read comes to you with an I just had two or maybe three shots of espresso, I’m in my comfy clothes on a Saturday evening, listening to Chet Baker and Megan Thee Stallion, and a bit of my personal singing. I am processing that I may be falling into burn out but catching myself before it gets there. Thank you for reading today’s self-care chapter, and I hope this helped you right now, and it will be okay. The wave will come down, so Surf’s Up, my friend!