OUTSIDE MY WINDOW #1 – Gregory the squirrel 

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OUTSIDE MY WINDOW #1
Gregory the squirrel 

What’s wrong with me? I watched a squirrel today for an hour. AN HOUR. But do you know what’s kinda fun? I’m actually starting to think like a squirrel. Act like a squirrel. I found myself – a human being sitting at my kitchen table, examining what the squirrel was doing for fun. Who in their right mind does that? I sat there for what felt like years, and I started having a new sense of time – squirrel time. I began wondering, “what’s the point of being a squirrel anyways?” Yes, I know something created them like us and everything else on this earth, I don’t need another lecture, but I mean, really think about it. What’s the point of creating a squirrel? What do they even do?

All they do is climb trees, chase other squirrels, and make absurd chirping noise to ward off unwanted lifeforms… mostly birds. Do you think there’s a war between squirrels and birds? Do you think a squirrel could even conceive such a thought? I’m sure there’s a scientist out there who can answer that question, I assure you I am not one of them. I’m just the crazy girl who watches squirrels all day…Squirrel Girl. 

It’s crazy to think that humans could have conceived war. If a squirrel gets pissed off at a bird, they just avoid the bird. When a human gets pissed off at a human, there’s emotional manipulation, harsh words, or even violence. I think I just found the point. It would be so much simpler and a little empowering. Being able to run around, do whatever you want—not being stuck in a house. I wonder if they know? How lucky they are – that they can climb trees, eat nuts, and play with each other without consequence. OMG, I can’t believe I am envious of a squirrel right now. Maybe I need to stop, looking out the window, but I’ve exhausted Netflix, so the window seemed like the next best place to calm my mind. I just need something to distract me. But instead, I’m just enraged by my lack of tail and the inability to climb trees.

You know what? If I were a squirrel, my name would be Gregory.  Gregory the Climber – the retriever of high nuts for the colony. No one could climb trees with such skill and grace as I. Or maybe Gregory the Wise, and I would control all of the nuts! Because why not, what else would I do? Vermin would sing of my profound thoughts in forests across the world. Or maybe Gregory the Brave protector from birds, I would use my colony’s nuts as ammunition and keep my territory safe. Especially walnuts, imaging getting pelted by walnuts that wouldn’t be fun. OR maybe we should befriend the birds? Maybe that is our next step in taking over the world. A world of the squirrel for the squirrel!!!

Wow, I just wrote a war for squirrels. I corrupted the image of a squirrel. No matter how hard we try, we can’t be saved by human nature. I’m just another human being who is attracted to power I guess. Damn now I really wish I was a squirrel.

THE END

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