Tuesday’s Tea is a weekly blog post where we talk about discoveries we’ve made as emerging artists.

Channeling Main Character Energy

Growing up I was very aware that everyone imagines themselves as the main character in their own lives. And why shouldn’t they think so? I mean the class clown did, the teacher’s pet did, the kid who would disrupt class because they thought depantsing themselves in front of their third-grade classmates was hilarious did as well, shoot even your pet is the protagonist of the house. After all in movies like Taxi Driver or 500 days of Summer and even TV shows such as Fleabag the main character drives the story forward, they are involved in almost every conflict, lovers quarrel, scheming and doing all of the story-telling through their point of view (In technical terms a protagonist and main character are not always one and the same but for the purpose of this blog they are).

I would even say sometimes I do imagine a voice-over narrating my life occasionally, usually it’s either Samuel L. Jackson, John Mulaney or Maya Angelou to capture the finest moments in my life, and often I do look directly at the camera making an inside joke with my audience. There’s plenty of reasons why I should consider myself that like every actor/actress taking centre stage, carrying the story along cause it’s true I am, and the story only ends when I inevitably face my death- end scene. So, my point is that you are the titled character in every Shakespeare’s tragic plays, Hamlet, Othello, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet all are the main characters of their lives (in this case I would prefer being a minor character but that is beside the point). It’s very common to imagine that you are the main character in your own life.

With that being said, not everyone grows up thinking they are the main character of their life because their narrative may have clashed and became overshadowed by another. And take it from me when I sometimes felt like the minor role in someone else’s scene, it did affect my overall confidence and desire to be seen. As someone who is the youngest of four, I completely understand how it feels to be compared to someone else, and their choices. How I tackled this was by finding spaces for myself to be unapologetically me and taking the opportunity to be alone, not a lonely person there is a big distinction between the two. When I am alone without any distractions is when I feel most myself. I tend to journal, read, meditate, and do other activities with myself like going for walks or doing crafts, and embrace these special moments where there’s no room for judgement.

When I left my home city, when I left my siblings to move here in Edmonton. I felt as though I was finally able to have a fresh start where I was able to truly connect to myself, who I am without my other halves (siblings) and make new and meaningful connections with others. I became the main character in my life once again. However, I understand I can’t always be the centre of attention and should give space for others to be seen. I like to think of everyone as their own main characters in their lives, and recognize that and be aware of how much space I take up constantly. I prefer to look at life that way and create an ensemble environment wherever I go.

This is where the idea of seeing and being seen comes to play. In my opinion, seeing and being seen happens when we give up control or power over what kind impression we give off, and how we are seen.Letting go of the pressure to act a certain way and be vulnerable (to an extent because we cannot forget the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries). As people we tend to naturally perceive authenticity through others and forget to recognize they too are also curating their image to what they are willing to reveal. If you are like me and I’m sure you are, you too crave being seen. And being seen for me means finding a space or people where I feel unconditional acceptance and belonging.

How does this tie with being the main character in your own life? Well, it ties into being willing to share the space with others, be the leader in your own life, and recognize that there are other main characters surrounding you and we are all essentially an ensemble in this society. Seeing and being seen opens a free path for empathy and compassion towards one another. That’s what channeling main character energy means to me.

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