Taking the Leap.

One of the biggest lessons taught in my acting program is to have trust in your choices – To have faith in your ability. Which seems like common sense, but it is easier said than done. When you dedicate so much of your time to training and questioning your choices and examining them repeatedly for the sake of your education – it can seem like you know nothing. When, in reality, it is quite the opposite. The truth is that you train so much your brain expands and opens to new possibilities constantly. You are constantly discovering new materials and techniques and tools for your toolbox that it’s easy to forget and acknowledge the tools you have.

I have a gig coming up, and I am beyond excited. I feel like I haven’t acted in forever because of the pandemic and self-isolation and all that jazz. Sure, I do the odd monologue from time to time, but I haven’t had the opportunity to really do in-depth character development and discover in what seems like a lifetime. When actually it’s been four months.

I have one year left of my degree (hopefully, if it even happens at this point – that’s another story for another day), and I’m struggling to acknowledge and write down what I’ve learned in concrete. Sometimes I feel like I’ve trained my ass off for two years without any progress because it’s not apparent, not concrete. But the more I work on projects outside of the program, the more I’m able to see my potential and talent as a performer.

It has become clear to me that I took my training very seriously to the point I was consumed with it. I felt so privileged that I got the opportunity to study acting (something I’ve always wanted but never did as a child) that I worked tirelessly every day. I wanted to be the best, and I tried to make up for 18 years of lost time. I’ve learned that training your ass off only gets you so far. You can train more than anyone, but if you don’t believe in your training – your skill. You’ll go nowhere. I realize that is a blunt statement, but that is my truth, my experience.

I trained for years as a dancer, and I was always told I was no good, so I believed it. I would practice and work so hard only to compete and fail because of constant self-doubt. I sabotaged myself with other people’s voices in my head always. It wasn’t until I decided – that I believed my skill was good enough – then I succeeded. Mentality goes a long way; I genuinely believe that.

So anyway… back to this gig I have coming up. I am beyond excited because I don’t feel the need to doubt myself anymore. I rallied for myself and got the role, and now I get to enjoy playing it because I did the work. I put in the time; I did the training.

And now I get to play – It’s a beautiful feeling.

Let us know what you think, and if you have experienced something different.