OUTSIDE MY WINDOW #4

DISCLAIMER the content and character below is fictional. This is a blog segment where we write a monologue or story depicting fictional characters .Today we are featuring a monologue written by Lauren Brady.

The Shell

By Lauren Brady

Cast of Characters:

MARY, Naturally cheerful, resilient and over worked eighteen year old
DOCTOR, Blunt and straight forward 

Setting: 
The play takes place in a plain office located outside the Seattle Hospital psych ward. The stage is set with two chairs and one desk.

(MARY standing facing the audience, DOCTOR placed behind desk)

MARY
On my first day of grade three and I was too scared to take the bus. I couldn’t even leave my house. So I just sat on my door step and just sat there, I had no idea what to do. My brother walked out of the house and just looked at me and laughed. As if he knew exactly how I was feeling. He grabbed my hand and walked me to the bus stop. I was shaking with every step as he held my hand, trying to keep me steady. He said the first day is always the hardest, but it gets easier and easier every day. We stood there.

(MARY turns to face DOCTOR)

He looked over at me and said “See it’s not so bad, the bus stop isn’t that scary.”

(MARY approaches the DOCTOR)

He waited with me until the bus picked me up and drove me away. I can still remember the reassuring look on his face as the bus drove off in the distance. He waited until it was completely out of sight.

DOCTOR
That was a very kind/ thing to do

(MARY sits in a chair and leans over the desk towards the DOCTOR)

MARY
/What does my face look like? Reassuring? 

(DOCTOR shows no reaction, MARY leans back in her chair)

That’s what I thought! How can I wait for the bus to come home when I don’t believe it will ever happen?

DOCTOR
We can talk/ and

MARY
/He knew I would come home – he was always there waiting for me. He did this for the first year of school! Every day. He waited there for me.

(aside) And I can’t even do the same.

DOCTOR
Mary this is a lot to process, we can talk about /options for

MARY
/I don’t know how to do this okay! My parents are gone, and I just started my first year of university. I can barely keep up with my grades let alone with my brother. I’m all he has, it’s just us. And I can’t do it, I see him talking and…I don’t know how to help him. How to protect him. How am I supposed to protect him from his own thoughts?

DOCTOR 
You have to remind him that they aren’t real. Remind him that there is nothing to be scared of.

(silence)

MARY
He scares me now. How can I show my brother a reassuring face when I don’t believe he’s coming back? I want to have faith; I don’t want to feel this way. But I do.

DOCTOR
It’s natural for you to feel this way; there are several treatments to help/ your brother

MARY
/Please just listen to me. I know what you’re trying to say… and I’m grateful for the hope your trying to provide me. But it doesn’t change what happened, and it doesn’t change what I’m going through now. You can through and advertise all these studies in my face, but it doesn’t change the fact that, when I look into to his eyes I don’t see my brother anymore.

When he looks at me, I felt empty. I feel like someone is slowly suffocating me and I’m not even allowed to scream. My brother has never look at me like that before. But that person did. He looked right through me… grabbed my hand, and told me that it’s going to be okay.

(Mary quietly laughs to herself)

He said that his friends will help me. Even when he’s crazy he is still looking out for me… even now, he’s still the kindest person I’ve ever known.

DOCTOR
You’re brother’s very sick.

MARY
My brothers gone.

the end – to be continued